Day 31 of 40 (April 25.2020)

Woke up at the usual time and got back into the cleaning and morning pages. Morning pages are the calmness booster for the morning. Every day, I wake up with a rush, and 40 minutes of my time to spend on paper works for me. 

 Worked for breakfast and lunch, the time just flew away. Every time,  I am in the kitchen, I am able to visualize my mom as an individual. Other than cooking, being self-less for us, she is an individual who has interests and personality.  Grateful to my mom for being an avid learner. I remember her preserving her Peddha Baala Shiksha and worked through to learn the letters. She managed to learn the signature both in Telugu and English. She is curious to learn the calculations as well. In the age of digital transactions, she is firm to learn to use the ATM. 

She wants to stay independent. Her dependence on dad pushes her to stand firm. Come what may, she reciprocates with her prayers and goodness. 'The faith,' she tells, 'has more power than any other doubts'. I learned from her to believe in our intuition. Every time, I spent time in the kitchen, I imagine, what is it for all the women out there who spent their lives in kitchen without giving time for themselves to reflect. 

 I spent time attending the meetings and painting. I need to work on the TO DO list. Worked on few and failed to do a lot of work planned. 

Today, we read a story, 'An old man and the bridge' by Ernest Hemingway. Everyone was discussing the story and there were so many views and guesses in the story. The learners were hesitant to get corrected. As a facilitator, I was trying to give out the questions. They were expressing their guesses whenever they feel they are right. They are not confident of expressing their views.

When children do not find enough encouragment to express, they do not share. It's same with the children. When we keep asking to come up with the responses. It's' important that we need to realise, we have to take a step to expect the others to take another step. 

As a facilitator, I discovered my role in posing the right questions. 'Who can the characters be? What colour, he could have worn. what time of the day it could be?' and many more questions to help the learners to guess. 

The difficulty of questions comes to help. It was an interesting session. For it's importance of communication.

The learners give up saying I'm not connected but, they didn't put an effort to travel. It's the same with all the learners. We all do. Confidence and sensitized enough to fail at small things prepare us for the learning. 

As adults, it's quite important to fail at little things. 

Failing at little things opens the ways for the learning. We always try to be right, even at the small things and never open up to know if it's not in our circle. Interesting learning to ponder. 

At 5.30 attended a live session hosted by Triptin Talks.  Hridaya hosted it well and came up with few questions helping to share a few thoughts on my writing journey and hitchhiking journey. 

Sharing my thoughts on hitchhiking on live helped me to understand my personal ego and ego at work. 

I also understood how to talk on my work rather than myself. It's my work that can speak more of it. Will talk more about my work. Less narcissism. More work. 

Attended the Storytelling workshop. Continuous calls from 2pm till 8.30. That's hectic. Now, I'm unable to understand how this new Worklife can be normalized. 

Couldn't get a chance to read the book or work on the draft. Need to work on the TO DO List.