Thoughts- Silence speaks

Give silence an important space in communication. As people tend to listen more and absorb the message when there's space  rather than bombing it hard and consistently.

TEDxStories- The Theme-Unshell

 I was going through old files and drafts and came across the first theme of TEDxVNRVJIET.  I remember discussing the theme with Vineeth, Meghana and couple of other friends. There could be few iterations but the cored idea of the theme has come out really well. While pursuing to establish the community, in the first place, we were doing our best to be authentic and pursue themes which we believe in, rather than build ideas to convince people. I'm very proud of the team work we put, valuing each and everything we wanted to do to establish this community. Excerpt of the theme-Unshell

"As much as living in societies has helped us progress as a species, it has also constrained us as individuals. it has set us some standards to live by and some limits to live in. we are shown some pre constructed and highly tested roads out of which we are supposed to choose one to journey the rest of our lives. we are told some scary anecdotes of people who tried to take a new road and failed terribly. we are advised to play it safe and are warned against going unconventional. but as long as we let these constraints rule us, as long as we choose to sit in our little bubbles of comfort, we are stuck in a rut.

 

The impressions of ‘life’ the society feeds us, restricts us to think beyond what is traditional. they stop us from aiming big and acting big. these inhibitions build around us like an imaginary shell, layer upon layer and keep us tethered to the ground, preventing us from knowing how high we can fly. we shouldn’t let our fears take control of us and keep us from treading new waters, knowing our strengths and unleashing our potentials. we have to start questioning the existing rules and break free from them. we have to break the shell that is trapping us, taking on one layer at a time. we have to UNSHELL."

Soliloquies- The thirtieth birthday

Thirtieth birthday seemed to be a big number. I never thought about it until I began to reflect on all my birthdays. As far as I recollect, I could recollect my past 20 birthdays. Recollecting the way the birthday celebration happened, I had a journey of undermining my presence, ignoring it, valuing and learning to celebrate it. Reflecting on the past birthday, let me muse into my thirtieth birthday. 

2003- Birthdays meant a big deal. Had to buy new clothes, buy chocolates to distribute it to students. Need to calculate the number of chocolates to be given to best friends and other friends. Along with dad and mom, visited Ramnivas in Hanmakonda to buy clothes. I bought a dark blue, yellow shirt and a jeans. Eclairs chocolates were bought. Also mom said to invite friends home for dinner on birthday. Calling friends for a dinner meant a bigger celebration. I had a lot of friends and had to invite everyone. A few asked their parents by themselves. For few friends, I had to go and talk to their parents. I remember visiting Gopal's house to ask his parents if they can send him to my home for birthday party. Shravan also came along with me. I visited Vipul's house as well to ask permission. As far as I remember, Imran, Shravan, Gopal, Suhas, Srikanth, Akshay, Vipul and many more friends joined me for birthday dinner. Before the dinner, we played cricket at the car parking, had a cake cutting and then dinner- Chicken biryani and a lot more. As we continued playing after dinner as well, it got dark and I had to go to Akshay's home to drop him and also tell uncle that,  he got late because of my insistence. Parents were very particular about the timings then. I could only do that because it was my birthday. When we go out for cricket match or any other outing, we'd be so scared to talk to parents. I think, Dad was out for a camp and he returned only at evening. 

2004- Suhas left warangal and I remember sharing gifts with Imran, a fancy pen, eraser and some stationary was the gift. His birthday is on Nov.18 and mine on 19th. We always celebrated together. Eclair was distributed in the class. There wasn't a bigger celebration unlike 2004. 

2005- Moved to Jangaon. Celebrated birthday with Madhav, Gupta, Shashank and few more friends. There was special dish cooked at house. New clothes was the norm. 

2006- Moved to Nellore. Was living at aunt's house. Dad & mom were living in Vellore. I do not remember it much but I'm sure that new clothes were bought, chocolates were distributed in class.

2007- Moved to Kadapa. Dad was still living in Vellore. I didn't buy clothes for birthday occassion but got a lot cloth material, went to tailor and got some stitched. I remember the blue, pink and white colour shirts I got stitched in that year. I was not keen of celebrating birthday for reasons I don't remember. I was questioning the concept of birthday and celebration with Anitha sister, my class teacher.  I used to say, 'What is so big about birthday?' It's like everyday, right? After listening to my rant, she'd simply say- Monkey, go and sit in your place. Happy birthday. God bless you with a contagious smile.  I realised I was being a teen and rebellious.

2008- Moved to Chittoor. Was celebrating birthday with Satya Kumar Pavan, Teju, Akash, Sandeep, aravind and many other friends. clothes were bought, chocolates were distributed. Also we went to some bakery to have some puffs I guess. Swetha, Vanditha, Gnana, Venita were few more classmates and from seniors, Prathibha, Sravya, Rahila shared their wishes. Brother and sister were in hostels and I was not keen to cut the cake and celebrate. I do not remember cutting the cake but without a miss, special dishes were cooked on my birthday by mom. 

2009-Moved to Hyderabad. Last class of schooling. I remember buying clothes along with brother or on my own. I bought a white and black shirt. On my birthday, went to school. Along with Santosh, Manish, Abhishek, Varun, Lava, Sandeep, Abhilash and many other friends, we went to unused classrooms on upper floors. Biryani and coke was bought from Bawarchi and relished in during lunch hour. Srinivas sir used to teach us math and we had a math class soon after the lunch break. We showed up late to the class as we were prioritising biryani over math class. Varun and Sanotsh entered the class at first and on being asked, they told about my birthday. Since I was new student in school, I hardly gave any bad impressions. Sir greeted me and I shared the chocolate and the class got continued. Also, I remember wearing civil dress whenever I like to school. Whenever a teacher asks, I'd say, it's my birthday. One teacher was puzzled on my multiple birthday occassions. One birthday is according to date, one birthday is according to astrology, I used to weave tales. People used to ask for chocolates. Too old to share chocolates, let's have biryani party was the usual trend. 

2010- I vividly remember the weekly AIEEE tests I had to write at college. We didn't had time to celebrate birthday during college hourse. At evening,  I was celebrating birthday with Srinidhi at McD and then met Swathi. Swathi handed out a gift- The spirit of Music by A R Rahman in a blue cover. I remember catching up with friends within that week as friends began to spread out. We were no more in school. We were growing. 

2011- The birthday was on a weekend. Along with birthday celebrations with Santosh, Abhishek, Uday, Akshay and other friends, birthday was celebrated with Swathi, Lavu & Amoolya. I realised that we didn't had phones to distract ourselves when friends catch up. We used to get onto the PC, listen to music, talk, talk and talk a lot about anything and everything. 

2012- First birthday in college. Nikith, Aswath, Iragam and many other friends took pains to celebrate it in a grand way as it was the first birthday in college. We joined in September, bonded over two months and at B6, a big cake was bought. As soon as I cut the cake, it was all over my face, floor and people began to celebrate wildly. It was the first college hostel birthday celebration. Sankruth's kick was unforgettable. I remember Nikith's merry laugh and warm hugs on my birthday. It was a memorable birthday. 

2013- The birthday celebrations began at hostel. Sankruth's infamous birthday kicks didn't let me sleep straight. Was loved and greeted by everyone in the college. Celebrated birthday with Sabu, Vikas, Sunny, Shyam, Naveen, Rehman, Sathwik, Sachin, Nishant, Rahul, Bala, Suhrud, Karthikeya

2014- We were just coming into terms with the loss we had in our lives. Also, we had the routine of celebrating birthdays in resorts. Postponing the celebration for the weekend, I spent the birthday with less hustle. Vikas came with snickers and greeted me in the most formal way at practice sessions. It was silent and simple birthday. 

2015- The last birthday in the college. The whole gang was attending a family event at Sunny's house. Everyone planned a celebration at Jishan's house and wanted to keep it as a surprise. I acted according to them and was informing them that i'd leave to hostel. Acting according to their script, they were informing me that there's no plan. Yet all of us ended up at Jishan's house in cars and had a birthday celebration on the colony road at Jishan's place. I remember writing an acrostic for Jishan and also me. A sweet birthday. 

2016- Spent at home silently. There was a lot happening at home and no one was in a mood to celebrate the birthday. The only thing that's consistent in my birthdays are a few loved one's wishes. My birthday doesn't end without Swathi's greetings. Remember talking to her for long time recollecting a lot of memories. 

2017- All my friends began to move out of India. I celebrated my birthday with Bala, Shyam, Sunny, Naveen at ABs. To see the gang shrinking to single digit numbers was a hard hitting reality we were trying to ignore. 

2018- Pooja celebrated my birthday in a very surprising and sweet way. I remember meeting her for a coffe over evening and ended up with a lot of traveling and midnight birthday celebrations. As I woke up, I was greeted by Nikita, suggesting me to do something better rather than coming to office. I ended up hitchhiking to Bidar visiting the famous Gurudwara. A very memorable ride. 

2019- Dyu celebrated the birthday by inviting Kaveri, Saket, Priyanka home. Dyu was heading to Abu road the next day and planned this celebration. So sweet and thoughtful of him. Also, celebrated birthday at school. Ashok and Nanu's wishes were the sweetest. 'Abhinay Bhaiyya accha ladka hai' said Ashok infront of the assembly who never speaks at the crowd. 

2020- Celebrated at home with family. Akhila got a cake customised in shape of book with the cover of The Wordless Conversation. Mom cooked special dishes on the occasion of my birthday. It's been long time since I celebrated my birthday at home.

2021- Celebrated birthday with Archana, Ayushi and alot of people at Jaipur. Usha was the first one who blurted out about my birthday and everyone in the hall greeted me and made me cut three birthday cakes. Quite an eventful birthday with alot of surprises and sweet gestures by everyone at office. 

2022- Celebrated it with Maah Space folks. They organised an event where I did a trust walk with a stranger, recited poetry and enjoyed the birthday with a nice dinner. 

2023- Celebrated it with Ann and other friends. She got the cake, a sweet gift and called me old! Ofcourse, I was turning 29. I went on a long walk in Geneva and had a dinner with Nammeetta and attended church where met Ann again and called it a day with caracs. A memorable and eventful birthday. 

2024- The birthday celebrations have already begun with Aarti and Sonia's wishes. Sonia, Jishan and I share the same birthday. Happy birthday to me!

Thoughts- What's on your plate?

'I've too much on my plate to handle' mentioned a friend and I began to ponder how different people have different appetite for various things in life at various stages. While I was walking with a friend in 6 degrees celsius with 2 layers, I had a walker who came in a t-shirt. Are you not feeling cold? I asked. 

It's a short walk, it's okay, I can bear it. He shrugged. As I began to look at him, he narrated how he lived in a place where the temperatures dropped to -35 degrees. Just like how I looked at him to have such appetite for cold temperatures, my friends look at me when I say, 'I went for a cold dip at lake' at 6 degrees celsius. Few event blurted out their exclamation- Are you insane? If I'm called insane, god bless Wim Hoff-the ice man, I thought. 

What's more to you is less to others. 

What's less to you could be more to others. 

It's interesting to stay curious and find out how different is each one's plate as not everyone would like Biryani and buzz in life!

Happy Birthday S

S invited me for birthday lunch. Along with Krithi, Miku, Sophie, Kushal and other friend, we had a lovely lunch and great fun with card games. After a long time, I had Indian chai on a cold windy day. Got reminded of the days I had chai at Azhar's place. The conversations streamed from personal journeys to cinema suggestions. I loved catching up with Kushal, as both of us share similar interests and anecdotes to relate to each other well. Thanks a lot S and Happy birthday! Here are few suggestions I received, hope I find some time to watch these classics. 

1)Cinema Paradiso
2)Baaria- Italian Movie, similar to Gabriel Garcia Marquez stories
3) The Hand of God
4)Federico Fellini
5)Ricardo Semarico
6)https://www.shauntan.net/
7) Midnight in Paris

Friends- Happy birthday K

A decade ago, during exams week, we had a birthday celebration at college where Karthikeya cut the cake and had it on his whole face, courtesy to our gang. PNR as he was called, the exam comptroller walked in, asked for birthday boy's ID card and also all the other boy's ID cards and walked away. Along with me couple of friends, walked away from the spot to wash the cake off their faces and got spared by PNR wrath. That's one favourite memory I recount of K's 2014 birthday. Whenever I think of K, I think of his signature red tee, his wide smile, bright eyes and banter. Post college, Karthikeya went to Singapore to work and then pursued MBA in Europe and is pursuing another masters in Data science. He's on a roller coaster ride and I'm sure people around him would smile more because of K's contagious hearty smiles. 

A decade ago, I penned down a poem to greet Karthikeya and here I am with another poem for him. We’ve come long way and many more decades to go. Happy birthday mama!

Poetry- The Blue Pulsar

 

Poetry- The Westward Skies

 I love writing long hand and I struggle to type it out to share in different mediums. Hence a picture of the written words. I find this simple and easy. 

Poetry- Seasonal Life

Life is seasonal

A seasonal deep breaths

Seasonal smiles

that carve our lips

to the blooming Sun

Life is seasonal

A seasonal fragrance

of late night cashmere mist

that warms our hearts.

 

Soliloquies

 

Indulge- November 11

A cake to celebrate the birthday, exhibition to share it with Sumin Ahn. 

Thought of the day- Exit gracefully in a relation

When people decide to part ways for different reasons, it's important to walk away gracefully. One of my favourite walk aways are Marina and Ulays' walk over the china wall, contemplating on the journey and crossing paths. 

Indulge- Day 22

I walked into the bookshop checking out a lot of books. Before I decided to buy birthday gifts for the friends who share the same month, I decided to treat myself. A decade ago, the gang was keen to celebrate the birthday on weekend and there wasn't a huge party unlike the last two years. On a evening, Vikas gifted me snickers as he walked into practice session. The best gift I cherish for my 20th birthday. 

I bought a snickers, a pocket book journal and as well as, a book by Charles Duhigg- Super Communicators. 

Geneva Journals- The Bookshelf

I never had a bookshelf on my own. In 2000s, I had a wish to have a shelf on my own. Watching my brother & sister having a lot of (School) books to read around, I wanted to posess a space for me where I can keep books like them. Nevertheless I had no books to arrange and rearrange. At home, a lot of books related to self-help, management and insurance were always around. There was one telugu novel by Chalam which I never bothered to pick when I was 7 years old for obvious reasons. There were books but, not my books. 

Ever since I began to move homes, I do not remember trying to create such space for books. In 2006, the only space, I used to organise, was for cassettes, tape recorder and my red congo. After that, I never craved for space to own in all the homes I lived. 

Ever since I began reading and writing, books and journals demanded a space at the place I lived. Just like how I look at the space for clothes, I began to look at the space for books. I moved to different places and I always carried the essentials. Books, journals with me. Just like how we pack clothes, according to the situation, event, I carried books according to the duration of the stay and type of place I'm moving to. 

When I was in College, I had a small shelf for books. Apart from other books, I remember, I had ThermoDynamics text book given by Raghu anna when he was passing out and few other books. By 3rd year, I began to carry a book collection from then Rajahmundry home.  Vinod also began to procure a lot of books. Mostly non-fiction. The only fiction he loved to read then was Sherlock Holmes which I got from home. 

As I moved to Bangalore, I carried a lot of books with me then. Ruskin Bond and few memoirs were there with me. As I returned to Hyderabad, I began collecting books without a worry of space. Books were all around. I enjoyed hoarding books and reading regularly. 

When I had to move to Rajasthan, inspired by minimalism, I decided to buy books which I would read immediately rather than to keep them with me. When I got a chance to buy books in Udaipur, I ended up buying a lot of books. I realised that minimalism is not about having few things but to have necessary things with us. I felt books are basics just like clothes. There after, I began to buy books regularly and also read them. 

I carried two books with me when I was moving to Geneva. Prasthanam by Sri Sri and Colourless written by yours truly.  I wished to own books but, couldn't afford them for the high price it got.  Slowly, people began to give away books and I was open and received with gratitude. Slowly, the collection got increased and my shelf got filled.

Solioquies- The Love and the ways it teaches Life

Hate is not the opposite of Love. It's indifference. When there's indifference in life, one wishes to bring some emotion into the picture. Is anger worth it or choice to be kind? Kind is always worth it.