Soliloquies- The thirtieth birthday

Thirtieth birthday seemed to be a big number. I never thought about it until I began to reflect on all my birthdays. As far as I recollect, I could recollect my past 20 birthdays. Recollecting the way the birthday celebration happened, I had a journey of undermining my presence, ignoring it, valuing and learning to celebrate it. Reflecting on the past birthday, let me muse into my thirtieth birthday. 

2003- Birthdays meant a big deal. Had to buy new clothes, buy chocolates to distribute it to students. Need to calculate the number of chocolates to be given to best friends and other friends. Along with dad and mom, visited Ramnivas in Hanmakonda to buy clothes. I bought a dark blue, yellow shirt and a jeans. Eclairs chocolates were bought. Also mom said to invite friends home for dinner on birthday. Calling friends for a dinner meant a bigger celebration. I had a lot of friends and had to invite everyone. A few asked their parents by themselves. For few friends, I had to go and talk to their parents. I remember visiting Gopal's house to ask his parents if they can send him to my home for birthday party. Shravan also came along with me. I visited Vipul's house as well to ask permission. As far as I remember, Imran, Shravan, Gopal, Suhas, Srikanth, Akshay, Vipul and many more friends joined me for birthday dinner. Before the dinner, we played cricket at the car parking, had a cake cutting and then dinner- Chicken biryani and a lot more. As we continued playing after dinner as well, it got dark and I had to go to Akshay's home to drop him and also tell uncle that,  he got late because of my insistence. Parents were very particular about the timings then. I could only do that because it was my birthday. When we go out for cricket match or any other outing, we'd be so scared to talk to parents. I think, Dad was out for a camp and he returned only at evening. 

2004- Suhas left warangal and I remember sharing gifts with Imran, a fancy pen, eraser and some stationary was the gift. His birthday is on Nov.18 and mine on 19th. We always celebrated together. Eclair was distributed in the class. There wasn't a bigger celebration unlike 2004. 

2005- Moved to Jangaon. Celebrated birthday with Madhav, Gupta, Shashank and few more friends. There was special dish cooked at house. New clothes was the norm. 

2006- Moved to Nellore. Was living at aunt's house. Dad & mom were living in Vellore. I do not remember it much but I'm sure that new clothes were bought, chocolates were distributed in class.

2007- Moved to Kadapa. Dad was still living in Vellore. I didn't buy clothes for birthday occassion but got a lot cloth material, went to tailor and got some stitched. I remember the blue, pink and white colour shirts I got stitched in that year. I was not keen of celebrating birthday for reasons I don't remember. I was questioning the concept of birthday and celebration with Anitha sister, my class teacher.  I used to say, 'What is so big about birthday?' It's like everyday, right? After listening to my rant, she'd simply say- Monkey, go and sit in your place. Happy birthday. God bless you with a contagious smile.  I realised I was being a teen and rebellious.

2008- Moved to Chittoor. Was celebrating birthday with Satya Kumar Pavan, Teju, Akash, Sandeep, aravind and many other friends. clothes were bought, chocolates were distributed. Also we went to some bakery to have some puffs I guess. Swetha, Vanditha, Gnana, Venita were few more classmates and from seniors, Prathibha, Sravya, Rahila shared their wishes. Brother and sister were in hostels and I was not keen to cut the cake and celebrate. I do not remember cutting the cake but without a miss, special dishes were cooked on my birthday by mom. 

2009-Moved to Hyderabad. Last class of schooling. I remember buying clothes along with brother or on my own. I bought a white and black shirt. On my birthday, went to school. Along with Santosh, Manish, Abhishek, Varun, Lava, Sandeep, Abhilash and many other friends, we went to unused classrooms on upper floors. Biryani and coke was bought from Bawarchi and relished in during lunch hour. Srinivas sir used to teach us math and we had a math class soon after the lunch break. We showed up late to the class as we were prioritising biryani over math class. Varun and Sanotsh entered the class at first and on being asked, they told about my birthday. Since I was new student in school, I hardly gave any bad impressions. Sir greeted me and I shared the chocolate and the class got continued. Also, I remember wearing civil dress whenever I like to school. Whenever a teacher asks, I'd say, it's my birthday. One teacher was puzzled on my multiple birthday occassions. One birthday is according to date, one birthday is according to astrology, I used to weave tales. People used to ask for chocolates. Too old to share chocolates, let's have biryani party was the usual trend. 

2010- I vividly remember the weekly AIEEE tests I had to write at college. We didn't had time to celebrate birthday during college hourse. At evening,  I was celebrating birthday with Srinidhi at McD and then met Swathi. Swathi handed out a gift- The spirit of Music by A R Rahman in a blue cover. I remember catching up with friends within that week as friends began to spread out. We were no more in school. We were growing. 

2011- The birthday was on a weekend. Along with birthday celebrations with Santosh, Abhishek, Uday, Akshay and other friends, birthday was celebrated with Swathi, Lavu & Amoolya. I realised that we didn't had phones to distract ourselves when friends catch up. We used to get onto the PC, listen to music, talk, talk and talk a lot about anything and everything. 

2012- First birthday in college. Nikith, Aswath, Iragam and many other friends took pains to celebrate it in a grand way as it was the first birthday in college. We joined in September, bonded over two months and at B6, a big cake was bought. As soon as I cut the cake, it was all over my face, floor and people began to celebrate wildly. It was the first college hostel birthday celebration. Sankruth's kick was unforgettable. I remember Nikith's merry laugh and warm hugs on my birthday. It was a memorable birthday. 

2013- The birthday celebrations began at hostel. Sankruth's infamous birthday kicks didn't let me sleep straight. Was loved and greeted by everyone in the college. Celebrated birthday with Sabu, Vikas, Sunny, Shyam, Naveen, Rehman, Sathwik, Sachin, Nishant, Rahul, Bala, Suhrud, Karthikeya

2014- We were just coming into terms with the loss we had in our lives. Also, we had the routine of celebrating birthdays in resorts. Postponing the celebration for the weekend, I spent the birthday with less hustle. Vikas came with snickers and greeted me in the most formal way at practice sessions. It was silent and simple birthday. 

2015- The last birthday in the college. The whole gang was attending a family event at Sunny's house. Everyone planned a celebration at Jishan's house and wanted to keep it as a surprise. I acted according to them and was informing them that i'd leave to hostel. Acting according to their script, they were informing me that there's no plan. Yet all of us ended up at Jishan's house in cars and had a birthday celebration on the colony road at Jishan's place. I remember writing an acrostic for Jishan and also me. A sweet birthday. 

2016- Spent at home silently. There was a lot happening at home and no one was in a mood to celebrate the birthday. The only thing that's consistent in my birthdays are a few loved one's wishes. My birthday doesn't end without Swathi's greetings. Remember talking to her for long time recollecting a lot of memories. 

2017- All my friends began to move out of India. I celebrated my birthday with Bala, Shyam, Sunny, Naveen at ABs. To see the gang shrinking to single digit numbers was a hard hitting reality we were trying to ignore. 

2018- Pooja celebrated my birthday in a very surprising and sweet way. I remember meeting her for a coffe over evening and ended up with a lot of traveling and midnight birthday celebrations. As I woke up, I was greeted by Nikita, suggesting me to do something better rather than coming to office. I ended up hitchhiking to Bidar visiting the famous Gurudwara. A very memorable ride. 

2019- Dyu celebrated the birthday by inviting Kaveri, Saket, Priyanka home. Dyu was heading to Abu road the next day and planned this celebration. So sweet and thoughtful of him. Also, celebrated birthday at school. Ashok and Nanu's wishes were the sweetest. 'Abhinay Bhaiyya accha ladka hai' said Ashok infront of the assembly who never speaks at the crowd. 

2020- Celebrated at home with family. Akhila got a cake customised in shape of book with the cover of The Wordless Conversation. Mom cooked special dishes on the occasion of my birthday. It's been long time since I celebrated my birthday at home.

2021- Celebrated birthday with Archana, Ayushi and alot of people at Jaipur. Usha was the first one who blurted out about my birthday and everyone in the hall greeted me and made me cut three birthday cakes. Quite an eventful birthday with alot of surprises and sweet gestures by everyone at office. 

2022- Celebrated it with Maah Space folks. They organised an event where I did a trust walk with a stranger, recited poetry and enjoyed the birthday with a nice dinner. 

2023- Celebrated it with Ann and other friends. She got the cake, a sweet gift and called me old! Ofcourse, I was turning 29. I went on a long walk in Geneva and had a dinner with Nammeetta and attended church where met Ann again and called it a day with caracs. A memorable and eventful birthday. 

2024- The birthday celebrations have already begun with Aarti and Sonia's wishes. Sonia, Jishan and I share the same birthday. Happy birthday to me!