Music Notes.

Shashaa Tirupati and A.R.Rahman on Singapenney! 

Both their voices energize the whole environment. Listening to their voices while traveling through the mountains to Sirohi gives me goosebumps. Singapenney followed by A.R and Shashaa's combination.  

Singapennye, Aye Mr. Minor, Kaara Aaatakaara. 

July Haul.

Raja Books from Delhi put a stall in Lake City Mall, Udaipur. Had a great deal on a few copies. Overall it's worth shopping.

This time, I got few copies of Ruskin Bond, Perumal Murugan, few biographies and few sequels of the copies I bought in another sale. 

1. The Beauty of all my Days by Ruskin Bond
2. Stories on Women by Munshi Premchand
3. Meghadutam by Kalidasa
4. Classical Indian Love Stories by Ruskin Bond
5. Small acts of freedom by Gurmehar Kaur
6. Perineum by Ambarish Satwik
7. A Call for Revolution by The Dalai Lama
8. Rajaji A Life by Rajmohan Gandhi
9. Frank Whittle, The Invention of the Jet by Andrew Nahum
10. Browse The World in Bookshops by Henry Hitchings
11. The World of the Tamil Merchant by Kanakalatha Mukund
12. Tryst with Prosperity by Medha M. Kudaisya
13. Goras and Desis by Omkar Goswami

I could only get 3 of the whole series whereas Mudra from Ahmedabad had an eye for all the historical stuff.  She got 5 copies from the collection. She was kind enough to permit me at least to take the picture. 

After reading when breath becomes air, I'm all in for some medical stuff. 

I picked up Heart by Sandeep Jauhar

I also got three thick bound hard covers. 

1. Staggering Forward by Bharat Karnad
2. India's War by Srinath Raghavan
3. Gandhi, the years that changed the world by Ramachandra Guha
4. Kannur, Inside India's bloddiest revenge politics by Ullekh N.P
5. The Non-Violent Struggle For Indian Freedom by David Hardiman
6. Tamil by David Shulman
7. No Spin, An Auto Biography of  Shane Warne
8. Young Husband by Patrick French
9. The World according to Garp
10. Diana F+ Lomography

Fiction

1. Current Show by Perumal Murugan
2. Seasons of the Palm by Perumal Murugan
3. A Cage of Desires by Shugh Singh Kalra
4. A River Sutra by Gita Mehta
5. Manasarovar by Ashokamitran
6. Baumgartner's Bombay by Anita Desai
7. Autumn by Ali Smith
8. Late Fame by Arthur Schnitzler
9. Transcription by Kate Atkinson
10. The Firework-maker's Daughter by Philip Pullman
11. Dancing with Swans by Ruzbech N. Barucha
12. Everbody's a goodl by Richard Russo
13. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
14. Robert Louis Stevenson
15.  Wild Palms by William Faulkner
16. Forever Rumpole by John Mortimer
17. The Kalahari Typing School for Men by Alexander McCall Smith
18. Bright Air Black by David Vann
19. GlobeTrotters by Arefa Tehsin 

Education- Bad day. Great leanings.

Today, I've taken 3 classes and I was disappointed by myself for disappointing the kids in a big way. 

My first Class. 

Walked into the class with a smile and asked everyone to open the books, starting out the work. I haven't bothered to tell them what I'm trying to do. I haven't thought of explaining to them what's gonna happen in the class. Maybe, That led to their confusion. 

The whole class was on confusion. Kids who know it's not their level were not motivated. Kids who found it quite difficult did not show interest. Kids who do not know what's happening often created the problem. 

I was not confident about the process I confused them. 

I confused them with a lot of assumptions and expectations. Pushed them to extremes thinking of various possibilities. I should have thought from their perspective.

 I feel terrible showcasing my disappointment to the kids. I was disappointed as I expected a lot. Couldn't manage to express my anger. I don't know if it's anger or disappointment or dissent. I don't feel good about it. I feel sorry for not having a smile on my face talking to them. I'm more reacting than responding.

I wanted to turn the learning organically with plan A. But, I realized I need to take Plan A, B, C, D & E. If nothing works, play with them. That's how learning happens. 

Without clear instruction or inspiration for learning, there won't be any learning.  It doesn't mean that I should state my objectives to the class every time I walk in. But, I need to give them the confidence to trust me. 

Another Class, I walked in and they requested to play during my class. Can't afford to simply play, I told that they can play if they can agree to my rules.  20-minute match. Like T20, 20-minute match. You gotta manage the time and play effectively. 10 minutes, a team plays. 

I had a lot of observations to write upon their communication, efforts, teamwork and a lot more. I went on giving an update on batting, bowling, score, balls left in English. They were quite frustrated when they asked for a score and I said in English. 

I wanted to provide exposure and they at least are hearing it. One of my objectives is done. 

Kids on the ground went haywire and were quite mischevious. Were enjoying themselves and was not listening to the instructions at all. 

The first lesson, do not expect their trust by mere words. The actions I assumed surprised them rather than trust me. 

In another Class,  I tried talking about the sentences. It was a mistake. Without giving a lot of exposure, I was expecting a lot from them. I had to give a lot of exposure. Once it's done, It'd be a great experience for them as well.

Memories- My Education.

My Dad never had a word in my co-curricular, extracurricular or for that matter any curricular activities.  He was not an enthusiastic parent fiddling in the process. My mom, though was strict in discipline. Never again, a forceful parent in education.

At Class 6th,  I was involved in dancing, mimicry, monologues.

I had a chance of participating in the TV Program. People approached my Dad and his response was 'No.' I wasn't discouraged strongly but, I felt bad to hear through Mom that I'd leave education if I venture into the art side. I was too small to think of anything else other than enjoying the process.

I wasn't terrible at studying. I was okay. Only for, the TV program I was denied. Rest, I had full permission. I let the disappointment sink in and continued passing away my time doing things I like. 

After that, I was never denied on anything else. Education never was an excuse to restrict me on various things because I was never terrible at studies. My dad never got serious about my education anytime. Even though, I was a rebel in my teens.  

My studies till 8th class were great. No one had any complaint about my education. Except for my behavior. I was back answering. I had such a complaint from my friends during my end of schooling. On retrospection, I'm sure, I was rude, talkative, demanding, straight forward. I had innate overconfidence. I do not know what I missed because of those traits as I never had a chance to listen to others about me. 

Regarding school education, I only had a word once with my Dad.  To get into a new school in 10th standard. I wrote an entrance exam and scored less in Hindi. Principal mentioned that to my Dad.

"If you had focussed a bit by yourself rather than blaming it on the teacher you wouldn't need to hear those words from this principal." 

Well my mistake, I accepted and it was always during my intermediate, I fought with my Dad that I don't give damn about IIT. I had no answer for what I wanted to become but I was sure of what I didn't want to become. I've argued with Dad to an extent where I made it clear that he should not force me. There were vulnerable moments in which he accepted my words. I was sensitive but never let it get away by not just nodding because my dad never instilled fear. I had no absolute fear to express myself at him. He gave me freedom. I cannot imagine the other way. 

Was I acting in a disobedient manner? That situation put me to see obedience in another way? Does listening and acting on everything one says makes you obedient. I see the fear in those acts I'm obedient to Dad. Because I do not know what I want to become, I chose the middle path and tried AIEEE. I was was obedient in being honest and truthful to my emotions. 

Never was a hustle about my result because the comparison is strictly discouraged. I made it sure from my childhood. Never let anyone compare me with anyone nor, I'm compared to anyone. "Why" is the only question I ask since I was talkative in any way.

Yes, I was quite back answering if I knew people. To stranger questions, I never answered them at all if there's a discussion on the comparison. I told myself that only parents could correct me. And I'm quite sensible with them. They never tried to discourage me.

Pens and Primary School Days

During my primary school, I used Add Gel Pen to write in rough work during my primary school days. I used pencil to write in the books but whenever got a chance to practice or write in rough books, I used Add Gel Pen. My favourite.

I remember sharing my happiness to the classmate about being allowed to use pen after entering 5th class. Till then we were only allowed to use a pencil.

Writing the homework with the pen was valid. Over the choice of pens, I fancied for all different kind of pens back then. Even though, my Dad's pen was the most elusive one. I wasn't allowed to take it to the school.  Had my hand with different pens and I settled with fine grip.

It was an economical pen I could afford back then. The choice of color was black. Even though we were never allowed, I rebelled to write in black pen questioning teachers since I'm not using their correction pen. The Red pen. Blue or Black what does it matter?  I personally loved black. I continued using a black pen during most of my school days.

I was never good at handling a lot of pens during school days. Even now, I'm no good. I'm good at losing pens. I continue maintaining the habit of losing pens consistently. God save me.

Apart from Fine Grip, Techno tip & Pinpoint were elite pens I could get to buy if I save extra 5 rupees from what Dad used to give me.

Reynolds Gel pen was the gift I could come after with is it whoever birthday it is.

During the primary, the school had a fancy for pens just because, elders are using them.

Happy memories with pens during primary school days.

Education- The Neighbourhood.

In the villages, I've encountered the clusters of homes segmented according to their community and castes. 25 years old and I never actually was surprised and enraged than I ever am. Walking through the communities and realizing the kids are living in spaces curated by the identities which they've no choice on.

All the kids from one community live in one place. They visit the school at once. If there are 2 or more people belonging to the same class, they're together unless others join in. They do not disturb others but leave others alone to live with their own company.

"No harm is done to any, they're being together which is their choice." is kind of comments I heard a lot during my college days also when people hang out inclining to their communities. 

There's a lot of harm this behaviour will affect each other. Kids turn rigid and indifferent to other kids

Excluding each other from various different realities of life, they deny the problems, they deny the hardships and a lot more. Scaling up from differentiation to discrimination, because of  lack of empathy they cannot help each other, understand each other.

It's atrocious. I wish we live together and identify each other as humans.

Movie - Post Card

Dramatic. 

It's beautifully made. The first two stories in the movie seemed realistic and dramatic. 

There is a line in the movie, "Letters are like the raindrops, that induce the emotions or the other." The postman says this dialogue burning the letters he couldn't deliver as there's no proper address or something. It's a custom I guess back then. I laughed imagining my letters unable to reach the destination.

The simple Smile.

Every day, we travel 7kms passing the highway and then the road and then take the mud road to the school. Enroute school, we see kids who walk miles to reach the school and also young, old who jogs for the day. 

Every day, I see an elderly person walking opposite to us a looking right when we come into his sight. I look at him, he looks at me. Days passed and it was always a sight we shared acknowledging the presence of each other.

On one day, being grateful about every simple thing that's happening in my life, I ran into uncle as ever I do. This time, I waved at him with a smile. He returned with a hand wave and a beaming smile.

Just one grateful moment to ripple the happiness I'm feeling. These days, I wave at him as he passes us. Sharing smiles and happiness one at a time. 

Elegy- Ranjit Bhai

My expression is ephemeral to the reality of the universe that takes it's

turns and tolls creating order in a chaotic way.

Death deared many lives and took out a new journey from them. Death to many is a break from their way. But their death is the start of striking pain to their deared ones.

For, their absence around us.

Ranjit Bhai left.  Wonder what made him to punish himself.

Silence. Striking assumptions. Sudden thoughts. I type, I write, I think. I cringe.  It's the same question I'm unable to fathom. What in death is worthy?

Social Media Sabbath

The distraction I'm inclined to check out stuff that can wait for my attention is more harming. I check without a reason. That became a habit and an impulsive habit. I can acknowledge the impulsiveness now. 

And being impulsive, I act upon checking things and the emotions I evoke through the feed are interesting. 

On reflection,  The reactions I got through the posts neither helped nor were energy boosting. I hitchhiked and  shared few stories on social media. I could not see the reactions but dear friends, close friends messaged me, " I'm jealous of you."  I immediately felt sad rather than going through any other emotion. Why my happiness or adventure is making you jealous.

Are you not happy with my stories? Are you jealous of me doing all these things? Well, How do I tell you that this is just a part of me? There are so many things I do and I do not share.

I thought, not everyone would think in this way, friends who wish the best of me do not feel jealous but feel happy about me.

In this case, the social media platform did not act as a tool to connect and impact my relations with friends. 

The interface, the feed made my friends habituated to ignore or passive about reaching out to me to share their happiness or thoughts.

Any medium which does not help to share our thoughts freely does not hold any importance for the usage.  The medium is designed in a way to distance yourself 

Corporate Lessons - Monotonous & magnificent work

Out of the college and after 3 months of superficial training, I switched the roles and got into management. Interesting times and interesting job as everything is a learning experience.

First job. First work. Was doubtful about a few works, enjoyed other works. Few things seemed monotonous in work but I pushed myself to do it. Updating a few data every day and various small things like filtering out and sorting out things were a task I couldn't enjoy much.  

Never understood why we need to do then. Always asked for the purpose of every work. Thanks to my boss, Aravind who never discouraged my questions and tried to explain to me all the time.  

I never bought the ideas, thoughts behind the monotonous work completely. Was always trying to do without enjoying it much. 

2 years. And over time, with a lot of conversations with Aravind, Angati and many auditors, I tried understanding the processes, the kind of work. 

I realized the importance of the routines. Conversations with Harimohan helped me to value the routines in a better way and I channeled to look at the monotonous work 

Monotonous it may see but, thanks to conversations with Angati, I realized how important all the monotonous, small be it data tracking helped me understand how important is monotonous work at times.

Quote of the day

"Character, Heart, Will and the Mind of the Champion. 

It goes by different names, but it's the same thing. It's what makes you practice, and it's what allows you to dig down and pull it out when you most need it."

                                                                                      - Carol Dweck in the Book, Mindset.

The Mindset

Thoughts- Teaching

The teacher has a great role in setting up the class. Whom do you call out the most? The learned or the learning fellows. Who are you there for? Do you want to focus on quick learners or slow learners?  The atmosphere we set on this basis is very important as we give the vibe that, the education is striving for the perfection the grade demands, and less is emphasized on who is falling behind.

If only teachers are there to teach? Whom we should concentrate more to make it all-learning for everyone rather than for the people who are in the grade level.

Nice link- Narcissim or the Self Love

https://medium.com/s/story/what-does-it-mean-to-love-yourself-a82505c3395e

Adieu Akanksha

Season of farewells and it's quite a happy evening, ranging discussions from childhood memories to hilarious anecdotes. Priyanka hosted the huddle.  It's quite peaceful and easy how people joined in and the whole atmosphere turned out into merriment.

I walked in waking up Akanksha out of her nap. Sunil surprised by the kind of all groceries he got. Kaveri walked in a hurry to leave in a hurry but settled in overtime and enjoyed people's presence. Dyu was the last to arrive but first to volunteer for all the work he can do.

Dinners under the moonlight while breeze caress you to carry you into the memories of happiness bubble.  Happy evening.

L to R: Myself, Priyanka, Kaveri, Sunil, Dyu, Akanksha

Elegy- Ranjit Bhai

Life knocks you to see

The Harder you.

Life knocks you to show

The World.

The harder you.

The stronger.

The kindest.

What has knocked you down?

What knocked you down to give up the experience of the

L.I.F.E?

Ranjit

Education- The acting of listening

Kids act as they listen but they do not listen.

Talking to kids about their behaviour and preaching the ideal behaviour is easy. And after a couple of classes and conversations with kids, I realised that kids are good at acting. They act as if they listen but they do not actually listen. It's dangerous to push them into acting of listening. We are instilling fear if we keep talking. Instead of that, the art of conversation needs to be changed. Instead of instinctive questioning or demanding of an answer, the questions and the rapport you built can help a lot.

Socialmedia Sabbath- Attention Residue

It's been 3 weeks since I quit social media. I got a chance to reflect on my focus.  When I was on social media and looked up to 1000s of friends' updates. I'm happy for them, equanimous to a few stories and sympathetic to a few stories and empathetic to a few stories.

The whirl of emotions experienced is in wholesome, at least in my case. And I'm exhausted after browsing the social media for a certain amount of time. Thanks to Infinite scroll.

Social media being at an easy reach, I checked out social media in between the free time I have during my work. And the free time was  1-2 minutes in between the work I have. The 2-minute free time extended to 5-10 minutes every time if I'm not called out by many people around. 

Social media feed can wait for my attention yet, I'm inclined to be distracted. I never accepted the reality that I'm distracted by 1-2 minutes of the browsing. Every time I take out my phone, in the middle of my work to browse social media or to check out the messages I've already seen, I never realized how such a small act can affect my productivity.

http://www.calnewport.com/blog/2016/09/06/a-productivity-lesson-from-a-classic-arcade-game/

Work with less distraction actually helps us to stay focused. It's easy to say but, the design of the social media apps and its interfaces is designed in such a way to chain us to the apps. The app icons are colourful that you're lured to open them every time you open your phone. 

Nice Link- On Deep Work

http://www.calnewport.com/blog/2016/09/06/a-productivity-lesson-from-a-classic-arcade-game/

Cities & the mess.

Not for once, I feel I miss the city. For city always reminds me of traffic, pollution, busy times. There are many times, I wonder why I'm hurrying all my life. Once I realized my needs, wants. Malls, Markets, and everything seemed of no huge use to me. Yes, I miss the Abids market badly. But, I decided for a change in my lifestyle, as things weren't working on my end. I could've fought and figure it out but, I also had the option of leaving it. So I simply changed my place.

The amount of plastic I used through Zomato, Swiggy, Uber Eats is immense for I went bonkers on looking at the plastic dump in our flat. Theres' a lot of mess I created in the city being comfortable and ignorant. Because city loves to serve the slaves of comfort and ignorants.

The external validation.

Kids are seeking external validation for every act they do. Normalizing the kids about the mistakes and learning process seemed difficult. It's ingrained in their attitude.  Empathy and patience surely bring trust between the teacher and the student. Once the student trusts the help he/she receives from the teacher or any other person, they'll surely don't inhibit to make a mistake to learn.  It's difficult to tell them how important it is to learn through a lot of trials. English being the second language, no kid wants to commit mistakes and feel like a failure. To boost them up, we cannot simply give easy tasks that they make the language easy and learning process boredom.

Memories- Elsa's engagement.

It's been a year to Elsa's engagement. The engagement where Nikita and I were excited to see the happy tears rolling through Elsa's eyes when they exchanged the rings. We decided to watch it in person rather than through our phone.

The rest of the friends were late and couldn't witness those happy tears moments. Ani Chetan and Paul sang hymns while Elsa and Sijo exchanged the rings. It was a beautiful experience to witness the dear one's important life events. 

All in Vibrant Colours. 

L to R Prosenjith, Myself, Manisha, Sijo, Elsa, Yojitha, Nikita, Pragjna & Srujan

Selfie norm :|

We called it a day while Pragjna couldn't keep up the promise of treating all of us at Cream stone. 

Movie- Writers a.k.a Stuck in love

Story of a family of writers who deal with their lives in different ways. I loved the lines the Writer says,

"I could hear my heart beating

 I could hear everyone's heart beating

 I could hear the human noise we sat there making  

 Not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark."

Roar like never before - Shrey'a company site.

http://roarlikeneverbefore.com/

Thoughts- On words

"Everyone has their own language." I assumed.  Just because we do not understand what other animals say, we cannot say they have their own language.

 There seems to be a different type of language. Human language is different on its own. It's interesting how our language is distinct from various other languages.

 

Our language is arbitrary.

There is no natural link between word and it's meanings. Can the pen be called by another name, yes we can if everyone decides so.  Is it an object or work. It can mean a lot in different ways.

 

There are words that are made of their sounds as well. Called Onomatopoeic sounds. Ouch. Learnt a lot in one day. Time for the break.