Started the day late and picked up on some music and clay plastering. Day passed juggling between mails and mud. Lola is ever ready to play with me while I don't give much attention to her. Roberta is good and diligent at physical work, she was right at it from the beginning while I was fiddling around. After a lousy lunch, I went around for a walk and continued to stroll into the stream and forest. How easy to step out of the house and get into the stream. A dream life. Grateful to live at such place.
Dan cooked Panza for us. After our early dinner, we hit to Mulan to witness the perfomance by the concert. A lot of saxophones in the band. Rob joined us and enjoyed the evening. Ended the day by hopping to other event where there was some quiz and DJ. Love the way communities are built around what's culture for them and what they wish to preserve. English music, movies are rampant. If you want to change people, change their culture. It's all about culture. Culture is not defined. It's always a flow. It's a matter of time. A good day.
What's colors to children is what stories are to humans.
Surrounded by the hills, huddling under the blanket of sparkling stars
Humans share stories
A start, an interval, an ending
Surrounded by the concealing laughs, rubbing hands to bring the warmth
Humans share jokes
Little reality, little fiction, little life, little darkness
What day owes to the night
is what humans owe to their selves in solitude.
After a long time, got a chance to catch up on a TEDx Talk. Kapil talks about sensitivity and how men are conditioned to suppress their emotions. To ask for help is not a sign of weakness but a strength. I love the way he started his talk with his story and delivered the main theme of the talk- Sensitivity and men. How often do we buy the beliefs that doesn't help us?
I began my day by walking out for the sun. People started their day pretty early bringing bread to home. I was basking in sun stretching my body and seeing the mountains. Such a beautiful plae to live in. Grateful and lucky to move into this place. Started the day and began to play with the clay. Dan can't stay quiet without work. If I'm given no work, I'd happily go for a long walk and rest the whole day doing nothing. Maybe I'm getting there at art of doing nothing.
I went for a walk, spending time near the stream. I found a stream where there's a speedy flow. Walking into the stream, I spotted a baby snake going to and fro between two stones. My body reacted before I could react at the sight of the snake. I tried to be safe and watched it close. I could spot the shiny pattern and the head. It kept moving from stone to stone, hiding. It stayed in the water moving around. I wonder how the snake senses time moving between the stones. I returned to home and sketched a lot. Got a chance to catch up with new workawayer from Lithuania. Learnt a new word- Esweketa- Cheers for drink. Snokos- Cheers for food.
We talked of countries, region, weather and enjoyed the pasta cooked by Dan. Post dinner, I went ahead for my walk and continued to sketch and walk. Walking around the hills is helping me to ground myself. I could spot an old man enjoying his fishing, a group of women singing out loud the classics. The idea of picnic is still alive and different from what I see in India. Can people go out for picnics in my country? I need to think of places where it's safe to sit around. Ofcourse, there are safe places at my place but, it's an effort to find them.
After returning home, the moment I opened the door, Lola rushed to the door from 3rd floor. We went ahead for our evening walk. I'll miss the walks with Lola. Enjoyed the walk at the park and spent time at the swing. I think, proposing swing or cradle at SEZ zones would be very helpful. It's time they have some play time to increase the productivity.
The moment I moved to europe, there's one game I spotted that's frequently played by the elders mostly. It resembled our marbles game but had a lot of variations. I learnt that the name is called Petanque and a type of lawn bowling. It's a french game and often the veterans in groups play this game. Like every game, this game helps us in movement and focus. Hopefully, I play this game soon with the local crowd.
A very touching story. Thiru's story reminded me of all the travelers I met who flew away from their country due to war and other crisis. Recently, when I was traveling and had no cash on me, a person offered me cash and when I asked details to send the cash, he said, help someone in need and walked away. There are many instances where I was helped and supported through out. Staying open and receiving the love from the world seems to be the thought worth pondering upon. Grateful.
Rob walked in with this tenor to show me how his saxophone sounds and also shared a lot of information and tips on getting a saxophone, if I ever wish to get one. He played a few tunes for us and also shared how saxophones were made in the earlier times. Hoky doky Bye Renny, he said and walked out. He is indeed a young spirit in 80 year old body.
As I went on my evening walk, I paused at the river and got lost in thoughts. Karen walked in and both of us shared a walk. Over a conversation. she took me to the place where she generally takes a dip. We discussed how easily we get lost and take everything for granted.
Dan got the home baked bread and encouraged me to try it out with cream cheese. Cream cheese, bread a bit of jam is yummy treat. A quick brunch and a long walk with Lola, I could see that the temperature has risen to 30. I went near the river stream and found it brown. Looks like the rain has caused this change of color. Sat by the stream and wrote the stream of consciousness. A family came by the booming speakers and food. I got back to home continuing my writing. I realised that to have the best time, one needs to enjoy one's own company. Do I enjoy my own company? Mostly yes.
Karen walked in and appreciated my Indian kurta. Yonas walked in while Dan and I was watching Idiocracy. I continued my walk and reached home. And Lola was at the door waiting for me. I couldn't say no to her. I took her out for a walk and played in the park. I remember waiting for my turn to get onto the swing. Back then, when I was in grade-1, the kids from grade-5 used to come and swing so high that it seemed very dangerous back then. We had different swings for different age groups I guess. Vivid memories.
Lola now knows the cues. Whenever I walk down stairs, it looks at me for signals. I woke up, had my breakfast-Fish curry and rice. I got to work lately and began to cut the wood. I got the rhythm and cut a lot of wood. This time, I heard a podcast that talked of Steiner-Biographical counselling.
Later, I worked till the chainsaw gave up. Jonas walked in to talk business. I love the way he talks. He told me that Yonas is another name John, Yaanick and many other names. After spending hourse with them. I went out for a walk and then had Lola for a company.
Being healthy is a life long commitment we need to give to ourselves. Many a times, many friends hinted me that there's a lot that goes to health more than hydration & nutrition. So far, I've learnt that hydration, nutrition, exercise & rest are the basics for our wellbeing. Learning the nuances of these, I learnt that we need physical rest, emotional rest and rest in wholesome terms. To be at rest is to be still. To be still is to be aware of the present. Moving stillness seems to be a paradox I like to contemplate on. Interesting journey.
I began my day by a walk and reached Abbaye, a historical monument at Arles Sur Tech. I enjoyed soaking in the sun and wandered around. The place is so small that I do not feel I'm lost. Wherever I'm I see the mountains which bring a sense of familiarity.
After a long walk, I got ready and had a breakfast. After a heavy breakfast- Pasta & Coffee, we went for a walk with Lola. Walks are always fast and short with Danesh. We began our day with clay plastering. Clay is a very environmental friendly and maintains temperature during all seasons. I mixed and plastered clay on the walls which seemed hard but fun. After 3 hours into clay plastering, I called it a day and rested serving myself a heavy lunch. While D went on for work, I rested a bit and went ahead for a hike.
Before I began the hike, I was reading and writing a bit. As I began the Loop hike, I was recording a few moments. After a while, I was so lost in the woods, I continued walking without bothering about recording the moments. Got some pretty good views and hiked for 3 hours.
After a nice shower, some time with books and journals. I realised that physical work brings out a lot of balance in life. It's good to involve oneself in physical work. That keeps us healthy and fit. I had my dinner and caught up with Danesh on wood carving and some stories.A long day. A good one.
A morning walk towards the village, I enjoy the morning sun and the rumbling water. A long walk along the waters and the neighbourhood, I got interested at the doors and the letter boxes. Satisfied with the morning sun diet, I began my day. Along with Dan, we did some work with wood and Doradango. Rob mentioned about the music gig happening at Le Moulin des Arts et de l'Artisanat. I wanted to have some solitude time at the river and got soaked under the sun. Time in the nature always helps us to be more aware of the moments. After spending hours reading a bit and writing some poetry, I walked down to the venue, hearing the rhythms. A lot of them on Darbukas and a couple on traditional drums. The place got a vibe and I sat there enjoying the music. As the musicians took a small break, I continued to stroll around and met a couple of kids enjoying their cotton candy at an old mill. While strolling in an old weaving mill, I found out how the government has renovated a lot of dilapadated buildings, mills and brought back them into life.
While I continued to walk around and spend time, the musicians got back into the game and we enjoyed the night moving our feet to our own rhythms.
It's been a year to the colourless journey. On July 2nd, I had my first solo exhibition in Jaipur at Maah Space. Reflecting on the journey, I got reminded of two people whom I dedicate my book Colourless to- Dyu and Vaishnavi. When I decided to move to Rajasthan, I never planned or thought how I'm going to take up this new journey. Dyu came along and has been there through out my Rajasthan journey, sharing a house, meals and conversations. Though I passed out of college in 2016, I was merely bheaving like a college kid living in a hostel when I moved to Rajasthan. I was impulsive, naive and active. When I picked a brush and paint, Dyu looked at me and never bothered to say a word. At nights, I would wake up and paint. At times, he was startled by my erratic randomness but, never expressed it outrightly. I could do a lot of things I did in Sirohi, because I had time. I had time because Dyu spent a bit of his time, managing the home and the daily cooking. Willingly or unwillingly, Dyu did a lot of house errands and was quite flexible with me being erratic in picking house errands. I was spending most of my time with books, writing and painting while he was spending time to prepare meals and manage some shopping. I'm immensely grateful for his support throughout. I couldn't have spend most of my time in my creative pursuits, If I had to dedicate a lot of time to cooking or doing house errands. I wrote a lot of poetry and painted a lot, during COVID, thanks to Dyu for helping me to have the right environment at home, to write and pursue my expressions.
I met Vaishnavi in Uttarakhand in 2021 and got a chance to meet her again in Jaipur. Engaging in conversations about colours, Vaishnavi shared a conversations on her life perspectives and creativity. Talking of colours and perspectives, I penned a poem- Colourless. With colourless poem, began my journey of finding colours and colouring the gray memories I had from my childhood. Also, Dyu always tried out continental cuisines and treated me with delicious food. Vaishnavi helped me to appreciate the aroma of fried onions and tomatoes and treated me yummy food. In one way, both Dyu and Vaishnavi treated me with their exceptional culinary skills. Thanks Chefs!
With the help of Dyu and Vaishnavi, I paved my colourless journey and went ahead with my creative pursuit. Grateful for their company, presence and words, the least I could do was to dedicate my work to them. Thanks Dyu & Vaishnavi for inspiring and helping throughout.
I'm amused of myself on how I felt I'm in control of my life until an event knocked me down to my knees and had me all over the place. Scared of the roller coaster ride, I sought help and began to look inwards. I realised that there's a lot that goes in our subconscious and unconscious minds.
Body keeps the score- Body does remember a lot of events which we actively may not be conscious of. There are so many events which I do not remember until very recently.
Expression is the way- Suppressing, repressing our emotions would not take us anywhere. Emotions needs to be expressed. All sorts of emotions. There is no positive and negative emotion. Every emotion needs to be accepted and expressed.
Accepting one self- We need to create room for ourselves. We are everything.
Began the day by a walk and soaked in the sun for a long time. Got greeted by a lot of dogs from the neighbour hood. Sausages and coffee, a morning breakfast and got on to the exciting task of the day-painting. We painted the roof and scraped the paint off the walls. While listening to a lot of iranian and persian music, I was hustling around. A lot of work with doradango as well. A quite eventful day.
After having a long shower, I went around for a walk and sat by river and the time just went on it's own pace while I enjoyed reading a book, journaling and witnessing the clouds pass by. I was amazed by how the time passes by amidst nature. I got to learn about the plant- nettles. Stinging nettles. Learn the pattern warned Dan.
I realised I'm living a dream- a dream of living in a village, close to the river and spending time observing my thoughts. Grateful for all the abundance i got in my life. Thanks Dan for everything.
Returned home and had my dinner- Sausages with veggies and wrap. Got introduced to artist- Mohsen Namjoo. I love the way Dan gets lost in music. One of his favourites.
We listened and discussed a bit about Hafiz and enjoyed the poetry and went around to near by cafe to catch up with the next door neighbour- David. David has two sons. Nicolai and Jonah. Nicolai is in toulouse into aerospace and Jonah into renewable energy space. Talking of languages, David talked of his stint at Stuttgart in Germany and theatre. We talked of theatre and had a lot o share. I love the way they hang out and share teh stories. Next door neighbours. Two weeks before Dan's birthday, they met. It's been six months since we saw each other. Seeing doesn't count, saying hello. Says Dan. To meet, to sit and to be there enjoyng each other's company seems to be a thing.
I loved the way Dan was enjoying the evening with his smokes, cigarrios, beers. 14 year old girl and 24 year old bar tender was there. A little bit about part time jobs, houses, rowing. I like the way David has some peculiar expressions. I enjoy the way we spent the evening. We made further plans and walked to our home. While Dan is on his bed tea and favourite shows, he said- I'd not be surviving, if it was not for Lola. For the last 5 years, I'd be lost, depressed and down if I hadn't had Lola. He smoothly smothers Lola while Lola loves being there.
A beautiful day. I enjoyed spending time near the nature and got lost. Read a bit of shadow consciousness and writing and called it a day.
Woke up around 8 am and decided to take a short walk. Walked along the river finding a new path to explore. After a short walk, made myself a breakfast, a few eggs, veggies and coffee while Dan was out for a walk with Lola. After a heavy breakfast, I began to paint the primer to the ceiling, enjoying the process and the need to be an acute observer in creating art.
While we were greeted by next door neighbour, David, he mentioned about Dan, how he welcomes if people offer help but hardly asks for help.
After a short work, we took a break and headed for a long drive to do some purchases. I got a chance to travel around pyrenneese mountain ranges. I liked the way we were traveling around.
We purchased a few material for the house and continued with grocery shopping. Dan wanted to have sushi and hopped on different super markets, just to get the ingredients.
After a nice run around, we returned home, organising stuff. Just as we were settling around, we got greeted by another neighbour, Rob.
Rob is a 80 year old Britisher who got settled in France from 1991. He plays saxophone and got interesting tales to share. While Karen dropped in for a while to have a conversation. All four of us got indulged in conversation and were enjoying the time around.
While Dan was preparing sushi for all of us. Karen couldn't join us and left us with our feast. I had sushi for the first time in my life and loved it. I never expected that Sushi would be as delicious as it is. While Rob and Dan were discussing history, perspectives, ideas and thoughts, I was enjoying the stimulating conversation. I love the way Rob was steering conversation with a lot of words like- implication, intervention, provided.
At the end , shared a bit of humour how humour is universal, how music affects people. He shared how he picked up his saxophone in 1984, by renting one and trying out until he was sure to pursue it. He also shared about Wwoofing, the earlier version of workaway before
Talking of workway, he mentioned of Wwoofing and how it worked.
I was introduced to the hike- Loop by Dan. I went ahead for the hike feeling, I may finish it in an hour,as he mentioned but, I took my own sweet 3 hours to finish it. I walked Half way and wished to try different paths. I walked across fields I felt I tried different paths, slept on the grass and walked around. I realised I walk fast when I'm in a hurry to finish it to the destination rather than delve in the journey. I struggled to walk slow when I knew that I need to finish it. There are times when walks are for leisure rather than as a task to finish. For me, walks are for leisure, for the most of the time. Later, I caught up with Rob and asked about his saxophone journey. In 1960s he was listening to a lot of saxophone music through radio and got into it. As he began to enjoy the music while enjoying the beatles and other music of his times, he got a chance to rent a saxophone to try it out. 'Renting a saxophone is a good investment rather than buying it without knowing if you'd practice it or not.' Rob also shared a few snippets on music, 'at one age you may not like a certain genre of music, at different age, you may like it for different reasons. You may never know why you like certain music more and other music a bit less.
We all have positive and negative traits. Whenever we choose to act on one of those traits, instead of unconsciously behave, we feel light and better. As long as the unconscious behaviour controls our life, we always fall into patterns and stay in the victimhood.
Little did I thought of what I've left in Geneva and moved into. I had a sound sleep and woke up in the natural darkness and went out for a walk. The morning fog embellished the old mountain ranges and I walked further enjoying the trees, morning breeze and the cold air. After a long walk, I caught up with Dan to have breakfast. Enjoying the breakfast and discussing the concepts of carnivore diets, one meal per day plans, I enjoyed the french breakfast, I made for myself, thanks to Danesh's instructions. Ham, bread and butter with a double shots of coffee.
After a heavy breakfast, we began to work on the room Danesh is working on. We got on the plasterboards, lifted them, moved them and began to measure and cut the pieces. I realised that, I was very clumsy while I got working with tools. I got a chance to dabble with holesaw, driller and a lot of power tools. Together, we've set up plasterboarding, drilled a bit for electric lights, bolted the boards, a little bit of plastering. I was realising that my estimation skills on metres is not up-to-the mark. I enjoyed the day handling a lot of tools. After a little break, I got to try my hand at Dorodango- the japanese art form. I got two scoops of white sand, 3 scoops of clay and made a round ball out of it by adding little water. I had to let it dry for two days and then work on it. Excited for it.
After that, I went out for a walk around the town where I've come across a library, a few monuments and trees. Strolling in the village which is very quite during the lunch hour, I've learnt that people shut all the shops from 12-2pm and stay indoors having lunch. The roads are deserted and hardly there's any human presence. I sat around a corner, on a bench and begant to journal my thoughts.
I wrote for a long time, that the village got back from their lunch break and began their daily life. I continued writing and began to wander around. This time, I wanted to go where my feet took me and I continued a up hill path where I kept walking enjoying the nature. I got reminded of my walks in hills with Ashok Joseph. After a two hour walk, I returned home and rested for a while to have my dinner. At 6 PM, I had a my dinner and went on to catch up with Danesh.
Talking of music, we begant to discuss how listening to music is an activity, one needs to engage and enjoy rather than listen to it passively. Everyone has their way of listening to it but, both of us seemed to enjoy music a bit more passionately. Talking of music, we began to listen to an album Dele Majnoon by Mohammadreza Shajarian. Danesh would be so lost and affected by music that he would fall short of words to explain the lyrics at times. He'd pause the music at times to not miss a beat and share the translation to me. Over the translation, we've shared some profound thoughts.
Karen joined us for a while and she shared her travel tales- She visited India in 1997 to do her 10 day vipassana meditation. She also shared how she missed a train ride and ended up a 16 hour bus ride to Mysore. Before calling it a day, went on a walk with Lola to the woods and near by river- Tech. We skipped stones and walked a bit. Sometimes, in silence and sometimes through stories, we shared and I walked to my bed to write down all before I let it skip away.