Day 11 of 15. Lockdown Days

Deprived of sleep for thirty four hours, I’m surprised of how my body works. Biggest irony in my life is when I’m reading the book, Why we sleep, I’m unable to sleep of unknown reasons. Neither the book nor any other thing is helping me to sleep.

On this day, I’ve developed a back pain as well. Besides all this, there’s no mental fatigue. I began my day to get the groceries. No sooner, I got into the house, I filled up the fridge with all the basics.  I jumped on to clean the kitchen. I cleared the kitchen floor, put every utensil in the basin, cleaned the dirty oil stains and the dried watermelon seeds lying on the floor. I began to clean the kitchen. Eventually, I developed a focus in cleaning and went on cleaning the whole kitchen. Next, I went to the  bedroom, clearing the bed and cleared all the books, laptops, cables lying on the floor. I began to sweep, mop, organize the house for hours. Watching the hours pass by, I put music and began to mop the floor. As the Sun was turning mild, I realized, I had neither sleep nor food.

Looking at Azhar, I shared my wish, “I want to fast like you in this Ramadan.” Azhar eyebrows were raised.  “How many days are left?” I asked with an assertion. “Do you really want to fast?” He asked.

“Yes.” I stated. I went on  to clean the house decided to not sip even water until Iftaar time. My mouth went dry, I was feeling tired. I lied on the bed for a while and went on to wash all the utensils.

Three more hours to break the fast, I got onto couple of calls with friends. Went out on a ride enjoying the orange hued sky. In no time, we were preparing lassi, cutting fruits for iftaar. My stomach was rumbling. My mouth was dry as sand. I was waiting for Azhar’s nod to sip the lassi. I walked in to distract myself till we get into the Iftaar time. Seven ten. The usual time, we break the fast, we prepared the mat. Set the lassi, put the plates and sat infront of each other. Two minutes more, Azhar mentioned. "Why do you this?" I told him. I couldn’t wait on. I raised and walked, grabbing my phone to distract myself.

There in those two minutes is where I felt, I can reflect on and observe what’s happening in my body and mind. I can learn patience. I sat on the floor, watching Azhar listening to the Naath. The Naath got ended, we raised the glasses. With the clinkering of glasses, we sipped the lassi, that seemed like the nectar that gives life.

Deprived of food and sleep, my body was reacting as I had the fluids after a long time. I could feel my body being hot. My hands and feet turned hot. My head is reeling. I’ll fast no matter what. I’ve decided. I’ll try to reflect more and work, I decided.

 I grabbed a bottle walking out on the terrace. I was welcomed by the drizzling and the blue sky, that I love. I went onto observe the clouds while the rain drops hit my skin. My hands were hot, and the feet was hot. The cold rain drops and hot body was reacting and I stood still, bracing  the harsh air, while Azhar was performing Namaz in the open sky.

God bless the world, I told myself. I sipped water and told myself to stay hydrated in the mean time I got to eat and drink.  Eighteen more days to go. A new challenge and out of comfort zone experiences.

Never have I ever fasted in my life. Not for religious reasons or health reasons. I want to experience it for the sake of experience and observe how my body reacts to it. Looking forward to reflect more on it.