In Colourless, the last poem I wrote was-
Drapes of Rituals
Drapes of rituals
Tears of longing
Colors of grief
Let everything wait for, we want to breathe
I wrote this poem when I visited Pushkar, witnessing woman grieving for the lost ones. A man got a veil and women walk towards him, get veiled up, puts her head on his shoulder and vent out. They cry their heart out. A few performed the act as symbolic and a few vent out their emotions. I was puzzled by the ritual and the burden one put on women to grieve as I haven't noticed other gender performing this ritual.
How burdensome this ritual could be forcing women to grieve and be in that emotional state, I thought. Staying with these thoughts and emotions, I ended up writing the above poem.
Flash forward to Colourless book launch in Bangalore, I grieved for the loss of my friend Madhukar, on the stage. I never thought about the emotion- grief. Happiness, sadness, anger, rage, melancholy, confused, rejected. These are few emotions I slept on but, never pondered or discussed with any other people on 'grief.'
Surprised by the way grief showed up on May.27.2023, I was open to this emotion and pondered as it came. I assume, that's when the grief has peaked out and showed me the way to be aware of that emotion.
Fast forward to Sep.2023, I began to work on series Empty Spaces-Mayanadhi, curious what water is all about and how I relate to water, river, lake and people in my life. People have walked in, walked out. I have walked in and walked out. I couldn't articulate the idea in words but, with the help of a song Mayanadhi and inspiration, I began to work on the idea.
I interpreted the art, projecting my trauma related with loss of friends on the art and inspiration. Reflecting on the journey I embarked through Empty Spaces- Mayanadhi, I experienced grief and what it means to grieve for the loss of self and other people in our lives.
Every day, we're growing and does growing means, we're losing ourselves?
Do we need to grieve for the self we lost?
Do we need to grieve or be grateful for the new we got?
When we flow in life, how much do we grieve for the past?
What it means to stay with the flow?
Continuing to flow with the idea, I'm positive to stay open, receive and flow in life.